Houston, TX
Sunday and Monday were home. Dropped over to Andrew and Courtney’s for hamburgers. Houston, 15 months and in no hurry about things actually took a couple steps because he didn’t like the grass he was standing on. Elle, who will be three in August, and I played in the backyard for about an hour, finding pineapples (pinecones) and feeding them to the polar bear that lives in the corner by the fence.
Lots of errands all over town; Pioneer Square (met Chad for lunch), Finnegan’s to find a puzzle for Gavin which we delivered and then kidnapped him for the night, Best Buy, Costco, the Post Office, haircut, Home Depot and then packing for the next longer leg of this trip. My suit case usually starts about 30 pounds but by the time I get back home I am easily pushing 50 pounds due to the books, tapes, notes, letters and manuscripts I collect on the way.
Up at 4AM and Nicho comes along to the airport to return the car home. While waiting to board I meet folks who are heading via Houston to Nicaragua for a mission trip. They tell me a Shack story, how the book opened up a relationship with Jesus for a relative.
I also get a text and photo from a friend, a Doctor, who last night delivered a horribly deformed baby girl. “Just delivered a baby with a horrible genetic syndrome. Hearing the awful cries of the mommy. Life changes so fast. She can’t close her eyes because her head is so abnormal. Who thinks this stuff up?” I think this last statement is indirectly a shot at God, or at least an honest question. Since there is a God who is love and who is powerful; why the great sadness, why the devastation, why genetic abnormalities? This little baby did not ask for this, nor did the parents who are now grieving the loss of all their dreams and hopes for their child.
I remember the man born blind and the disciples asking why this happened. “Was it because he sinned, or because his parents sinned?” Jesus totally ignores the ‘why’ question except to nullify both reasons the disciples had offered, and then says, “In this situation today, the glory of God will be manifested.” At first you might think that what is manifested is the miracle that heals his eyes, but the true manifestation of the glory of God is much bigger than that, it is the entire healing process of this man who journeys into a relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
So why doesn’t God just step in and make a miracle out of this mess and heal this baby? There is that why question again. Don’t know. The more significant important question is not a why question at all, but has to do with what we believe is the character and nature of God. Is God good all the time? Is God involved in the details of our lives, regardless of whether we understand why or not? I don’t understand why God withholds a miracle here and extends one there, but I believe that God is the keeper of the whys. I do know that suffering is a part of this damaged world, and that all manner of grace emerges from it. Suffering stops us in our routines, and interrupts our normalcy. If we allow it, we will be driven into community where we will share our suffering. If we don’t, we will run deeper into isolation and independence, which will in turn, in time, drive us back toward relationship and healing. Judging the character of God as capricious and untrustworthy will also drive us into our selves, into independence where all we have is our own control. Lots of tough questions, real and honest questions.
In Houston, TX, I will be speaking tomorrow at a Hospice Benefit. Tonight I attended a supper hosted by the organizers. I rarely repeat speaking engagements, but this is an exception. Hospice became a very special organization during my Father-in-law, Willard’s passing in 2002. We all called him Willie and he is the ‘Willie’ in the book. Hospice was a constant help and present comfort during the last days before Willie fell asleep. People who work for Hospice will tell you that they occupy a very holy space, the thin place between this life and the next.
Tonight I fall asleep on the 22nd floor of the Hilton, in a massive suite, thanks to David Paul (Hilton) and sponsors. I am very grateful. It is a gift. I am missing home and Kim and friends and grandkids. Tends to happen more at night and in the quiet.
